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Alice Skadsberg: Dwelling on the past or not

In my lifetime, I have experienced a number of ups and downs and have overcome several life-changing experiences. But, I have survived and actually feel like I have thrived because of them.

Sure, I would rather not have had these things happen but I kind of like the person I have become because of those difficult times — or maybe in spite of them. That is my story. This blog, however, is more about the story I am observing in those around me.

I am surrounded by a wide variety of personalities. Some of them are shining lights and tend to embrace life as it comes along — good times and not so good times.

I also have in my life people who’s lives are totally focused on what they don’t have or the disappointments in their past. They seem to be filed with regrets and dwell on those disappointments. It appears to affect their today to the point of seeing no joy in the present, even if there are obvious joys to be had. These people are “downers” to be around for sure. They are the “poor me’s,” the ” life is not fair,” group of humans, both men and women.

Because these humans are difficult to be around they often have a more isolated existence, even when surrounded by others. Yes, you can say they might benefit from counseling. True, but they usually feel they have no choices and therefore won’t accept the support.

My thoughts on this: A person can do nothing about yesterday. We can only reinvent today with the hope of a brighter tomorrow. Nothing big or fancy, just go to bed at night and come up with a couple of small — realistic — positives for the day behind you. Then wake up in the morning and come up with a realistic positive for the day.

Baby steps.

Or, they can continue to dwell on the things of their past, all of which they can do nothing about. Not my idea of a productive or good time at all.

‘Till next time, if you know someone like that, give them a positive if you can. Or if you are a person who struggles at least give change a try. Remember, baby steps.